The Murder
The night was dark, and the pouring rain transformed the streets of Genoa into broken mirrors. Inspector Filippo Tocci lit a cigar while observing the alleys illuminated by the street lamps. He didn’t want to go home, so he decided to walk a bit. Suddenly he found a dark figure in front of him, rubbing his eyes convinced that it was just an illusion. Continuing along the road and getting closer, what appeared before his eyes was what corresponded to the body of a man lying on the ground. The investigations began immediately, the inspector was accompanied by detective Viviani Giulia for the case.
Whose body will it be?
- Kjara (0%)
- Tommy (0%)
- Alessio (100%)
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13/05/2025 at 10:27
Hello again guys 🙂
I must praise your idea of bringing something in English on the website 🙂 and the story itself, if still too short (I’m sure you can do better) it’s becoming very interesting 🙂
Just few corrections to make the story more readable :
“frequent the neighbourhood” is not used at all in English is better use the form : “all those who were often going to that neighbourhood”
“everything made ONE think” again better refer that sentence to the police investigating the scene and use the form “everything made THEM think”
on this part “witnesses said that Alessio was arguing with Tommy, but then they couldn’t give a description of Tommy” how did they know Alessio was actually arguing with Tommy? Doesn’t really make sense …
This is only my personal opinion , take it as a way of improvement 🙂
I vote the unknown person , I like mystery and thrillers 🙂
keep up the good work and see you all at the next chapter 🙂
09/05/2025 at 16:04
Good afternoon guys
I like the idea that you want to practice your english using the website but I will give you some suggestions on to create an even better story.
First try to use all the characters that the site offers you : not 10, not 20 but 5000 , that’s the real challenge. In this chapter you only describe a scene , but you could have described better the inspector and the detective , and add a little background to the story or the reason why we should be voting for one of the names you written there.
So I will follow you and I’m expecting with the next chapter a little bit more details “in english” and for you to try and use all of the 5000 characters given
see you all soon 🙂
13/05/2025 at 09:13
thank you